I am certain the title of this post has grabbed your attention and so you came racing here to find out what in the world does that mean? "Toddler to Bodyguard"... mysterious, intriguing, interesting.... it is just too bad that I'm going to make you wait to hear the story (hey! No skipping ahead, you will miss all of the other good stuff that has happened in the last month!)
Once upon a time, there was a family and all was quiet until they had children. The oldest of whom is 2 and half years old has started to throw tantrums like Hurricane Andrew. Thrashing and screaming, howling, hitting, and biting like a Category 5 hurricane. This did not bode well with the parents, oh no it did not. So the parents devised a plan, a calculated set of steps to bring order and quiet back into their home.
A chore list was made, and so was a set of Family Rules. The rules were then introduced to the child along with a challenge. You abide by the rules, you do your chores, and you earn pennies. "Pennies?" the child asked, "Yes, pennies," replied the parents. See pennies hold a special meaning to this child, the parent's aren't quite sure what, but the parents planned to introduce a new meaning to the pennies as it was, so the child had something to look forward to.
So the week began and the child did remarkably well, she earned 76 pennies! Granted the parents were very liberal with the handing out of said pennies to ensure the rules and chores were met with enthusiasm, but nonetheless, the plan was on a good course. So what does a child do with 76 pennies? She spends them of course, at the Family shop.
See the parents went to the dollar store and bought several items of which can be exchanged for pennies. They used the first week to determine exactly how many pennies must be earned to get a prize, the number chosen, 50. However, all of the pennies must be exchanged for 1 prize.
Needless to say the child was excited to hear she could trade the pennies in for a prize. The first week she chose a ball, the second week, a solar-powered dancing flower, and the third week, bubbles. Yes, this child is consistently earning 50 or more pennies each week, the plan is a great success and the tantrums are still existent but less frequent, and the biting and hitting has disappeared entirely.
And so the household redeemed some of its' quietness again and they continue to live happily ever after.
Now hopefully, you haven't been skipping around, otherwise, you just missed a really good story, but you are still going to have to wait a tad bit longer as to how a toddler became/becomes a bodyguard as there are more stories that need to be told before that moment.
To the tune of Gilligan's Island
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a child's bond
a bond that she shares with her dad
and how they get along.
The dad is a fantastic man,
the child is really loved.
They struggle to say goodbye each day
For he must go to work, he must go to work.
She can't wait for him to be home,
She watches through the glass,
If not for her confidence
She might not last, she might not last.
Her daddy arrives right on time to his humble abode
From his Truck
To his daughter
His son and his wife,
With his laptop
His computer and monitors,
Here at their abode.
Phew!, Pulled that off pretty well, if I must say so myself. The bond my daughter and I share makes my wife jealous (and now the theme song I bet only adds to that), but I think most Dads have that bond with their daughters. There is no doubt that my daughter adores me and I definitely adore her. The times we get to spend one on one are special and I wish we could do it daily.
Of course, this bond is easily understandable and likely noticeable by just about anyone. Especially if they tell you about Uncle Jeremy's wedding (one of Mommy's brothers). What?!? You haven't heard this story? Oh boy, you better sit down and get comfortable, as this story is good one.
Many Many days ago, there was a prince and a princess. How they met, doesn't really matter :-P, but what is important is they fell in love and were to be married. As part of the ceremony, they needed a flower girl, and so they turned to the prettiest niece they know (the only one they know, I think, but again, the details don't matter). The dress was beautiful, you would never have seen a prettier flower girl. Now I need to backup, as I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
It is 45 minutes until rehearsal and guess where we are heading? To Urgent Care. We call the bride to be, and tell her we will be running late, our daughter is screaming and throwing fits, with a cough, congestion, etc. We are thinking strep (one of her friends was recently diagnosed with strep), but are entirely unsure. Ends up, she had a double ear infection and thankfully they put her on a high dose of antibiotics so we can get a good portion in her prior to the wedding.
We finally get to rehearsal and quickly go over what a flower girl does and begin to hope for the best. Of course, being the parents we are, we know our daughter, and we know how to motivate her. So I knelt on the floor behind a pew at the front of the sanctuary with a handful of marshmallows. It didn't take long before our daughter arrived with the ring bearer at the front of the church and was grabbing those marshmallows from my hand.
Rehearsal went well, but the real test would be on the day of the wedding, and only time will tell if she will perform just as well with church full of people. So back to the story.
The prince was up at the front of the church with his patrons, as the flower girl and ring bearer made their way down the aisle. The flowers stay oh so neatly within the basket they were already in, as the flower girl made her way step by step refusing to let a single flower leave that basket. Half way down I peeked my head around the pew and she gave the biggest smile when she realized there were marshmallows at the end (or because I was at the end of the aisle). If you paid close attention, you would have noticed her pace picked up almost to the point of dragging the ring bearer (who was several years older than her). To say it was a success would be putting it lightly, it was a major achievement of mass proportions, maybe even worthy of a nobel prize or an oscar.
She did equally well for the photos afterwards. Of course, when you have her yell "Marshmallows" instead of "Cheese", how can a little girl not smile? In fact, the groom was smiling for marshmallows too (seriously, marshmallows are an awesome training tool for toddlers and grooms).
The prince and princess had a beautiful wedding, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, but the real event was at the reception. Let's just say that this flower girl danced all night. She was on the dance floor till nearly 10 PM (almost past Cinderella's bed time)! We had to put her in the stocks (I held her) during the first dance though, otherwise she would have stolen that moment. The best part was when she taught the bridesmaids new dance moves from Mommy's exercise video. That was just hilarious!
Since our last update, we have had lots of visitors, from Uncle Andrew and Aunt Melissa, Grandma and Pop Pop Wilkin, Great Grandma and Pop Pop Wilkin, Great Uncle Dick, Grandpa Frank and his Fiancee Claudette, and Great Auntie Sheila.
Uncle Andrew and Aunt Melissa spent a week here in Columbus. They got to do all sorts of fun activities with the kids, from visiting OSU, the Santa Maria, the Columbus Zoo, and "Touch a Truck", just to name a few. She also spent two nights with Grandma and Pop Pop at their hotel!
"Touch a Truck" was an interesting event (first one we have been to). The event consists of several business and emergency vehicles being available for kids to come see up close and climb onto/into. Police cars, fire engines, life flight helicopter, big rigs, tractors, you name it, it might have been there. She hopped right in to the back of a police car and asked us to close the door, sat in a life flight helicopter, a tractor, and played on the bed of a big rig used for hauling construction equipment. Brianne thoroughly enjoyed it.
So what is with the "Toddler to Bodyguard"? Well wait no more! Brianne's fondness of her brother has been growing for quite a while now, but we still never realized how much until a recent trip to a farm to get some fresh produce and to get several pounds of tomatoes for canning.
While at the farm Mommy was paying for the produce, so she set Keaten down on the floor in his car seat. The friendly farm dog decided he needed to meet and greet Keaten so he strolled on over to sniff him out. Brianne didn't quite like this. She grabbed on to Keaten's car set and started pulling him away from the dog all the while saying "No doggie, No!" I like to think of this in the same manner when in action movies one person jumps in front of a bullet for another, but maybe that's exaggerating it just a bit.
Now, maybe that moment was a fluke, but I digress, it occurred again! This time at Keaten's 4 month checkup. Brianne repeatedly told the Doctor that he could not give Keaten his shots (for they would hurt) and could not touch him anymore. I am sure that was both funny for the Doctor and for Mom. So she has become a self-designated bodyguard for her brother (I wonder how long it will last?).
Note to Brianne: Brianne when you read this in the future, "See, We told you so! You did love/protect your brother when you were younger!"
Now I know what you are thinking. All of that suspense and you just get right to the point? Yeah Yeah, I already gave you two stories and a song; give me a break. :-P I'm sure I could probably recount more memories of Brianne being Keaten's bodyguard, but then this thing would never be finished. I can't even begin to imagine what next months activities will contain, and I imagine they will be as fun filled as were this months.
Love,
Matt, Kami, Brianne, and Keaten